Currently I am sitting here in my room on the Oncology floor at St. Francis Hospital, having recently been unhooked from a chemo drug called Cytarabine. It is highly toxic and so I have to sign my signature before each dose (1 every 12 hours and it drips for 2 hours) so they can make sure it isn't having any adverse neurological effects. They keep a signature sheet and use it each time so as to compare them. I also have to be given steroid eye drops every 6 hours the two days I'm on this chemo to protect my eyes. The chemo drug I received for the first 26 hours of my stay was Methotrexate and it too is highly toxic stuff. They have to do repeated blood draws to monitor the level of Methotrexate in me to make sure we aren't overdoing things. And then, 24 hours after stopping the methotrexate, I am given a drug every 6-8 hours called Leucovorin which helps protect my kidneys from the methotrexate. Of course, throughout my entire 3-4 day stay for chemo I have bags of fluid running to help flush my system...not too fast for the chemo not to do it's job, but fast enough to help rid my body of it so as to avoid it harming parts of me that need not be touched by chemo. And there are always anti-nausea meds being given either orally or into my I.V. And with these 2 particular chemos a steroid called Solu Medrol is also given to me. This little dandy makes my face red and flushed and swollen...along with my feet and ankles.
It is all kind of mind boggling isn't it? What they must give you to cure you is dangerous stuff! Yet someone, somewhere has been gifted by God to create all these counter meds and protective measures. Of course it took much aid from God to create chemo too, but it is all the counter meds and the balancing act with the toxicity that boggles my mind at present. Now, I say gifted by God, because I doubt anyone could possibly do this without Him. They may think they have, but I pray they realize Who helped them come up with all this. If not now, perhaps some day before they stand before Him. But it is also mind boggling that anyone could put a chemo care plan together; a delicate dance to be sure. Enough toxicity to kill the cancer cells, but not the rest of one's body. I can't quite wrap my little mind around putting that all together.
About the only thing they haven't been able to figure out a way of stopping are the post chemo mouth sores. Many chemo drugs can cause them, but both the Methotrexate and the Cytarabine are notorious for causing mouth sores; actually sores all the way down the pathway from our mouth to our throat, esophagus, stomach and out! Trust me, not pleasant! It is just one of those things you have to endure until your blood count improves enough to heal them. Yes, your blood count that was obliterated by the very chemo giving you the mouth sores. Mind boggling yet again.
But ya know what? I don't think we have to understand everything that happens to us in our lives. If we were always given an answer and explanation from the Lord about the whys and whats of life I think we'd have a very small and shallow faith. The Lord said to the Israel, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched." He didn't say, 'after I dry it all up and it's safe for you pass through go on in'. Nor did He say to 'only walk in the shallows of the rivers'. He also did not say we should 'only walk through the cooled off ashes of the fire so we don't get burned.' Nope not all what He said. Plunge right on in with full faith because I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! That's what He said. (Isaiah 43)
I have tried to do that during these last 8 months of round after round of chemo and round after round of post-chemo side effects. Oh trust me, it hasn't all been a sweet little cake walk where I kept my head up high and never got down. I dont' think that is possible during a battle of this magnitude. But what is possible is to pick that spirit up as soon as you can and press on in the strength of the Lord and plow your way through the mind boggling world called chemotherapy.